Game of the year! GAME OF THE YEEEEEEEEAAAAAR!
I have no idea what I just played but it was 5 minutes that I want to relive forever. FOREVER.
I’ll walk you through it:
First you see this…
… and upon clicking on start you are asked to tell some guy called Balki what dream you are chasing.
Sex with a leopard is a hard dream to chase as not many people agree or support my big-cat fetish, but I knew this game wasn’t going to judge me. Click ‘nothing’s gonna stop me now!’ and you see the gameplay screen…
… and then the magic happens.
Music! Wonderful, cheesy music!
Simple gameplay, involving only two arrow keys to move and the space-bar to jump!
Stars to collect!
And the inevitable conclusion of your character running into the distance, forever chasing that dream.
Then I realised that I could play a million apparently “life-affirming” games totalling many hundreds of hours of combined gameplay, but none of them would compare to the couple of minutes that just preceeded that screen.
Chase that dream!
NOTHING is going to stop you NOW!
Well, nothing except the fact that I missed a couple of stars. I wonder if my avatar reached my goal of hot, sweet Leopard sex?
Not quite! But still according to that screenshot I managed a respectable 92% success rate and to ‘have vex wash i leopard’ which might not keep me warm and leopardy soft at night, but will definitely do for now!
So what was all that about?
Apparently it was based on an old U.S TV series called Perfect Strangers which I have never heard of. Not knowing didn’t affect my enjoyment of the game at all of course but I imagine that fans of that show would maybe like the game even more? Let me know if this is the case please.
Wondering what other people are wishing for? No, I wasn’t either but the game sure does tell you after you’ve played it!
Someone out there is only 82% towards their goal of ‘Freedom’ which I find terribly depressing. Keep chasing that dream Freedom chaser!
Adam Levine of Maroon 5 will no doubt be delighted that the person who wants to kill him failed to get even a single %.
And keep CHASING THOSE DREAMS! *whoooooooooooosh!*